Mammo schwammo

The beauty of coming reaally close to 40, I'm experiencing, is being subjected to various health examinations such as the mammogram. After a routine check up my gynae said I needed to go for my first mammogram. Since I would save $200 by going to a public instead of private clinic, the choice is a no-brainer. Fast forward to three months later, I made an appointment at a public clinic and was told to set aside 3-4 hours for this test. Right. I took half-day leave from work to ensure I have enough time.

I was pleasantly surprised that I was attended to right at the time of my appointment. And that was basically the best bit of my appointment - they saw me on time (and actually I stayed for less than hour which left me plenty of time to roam around aimlessly). The rest of the time I spent at the diagnostics clinic, I felt like my two girlfriends - Boob Right and Boob Left - were tortured and treated like pieces of meat. I was made to contort into positions that tested the flexibility of my limbs (thank you, yoga) and was asked if I could turn and twist my head a full 180 degrees. I had to turn my body to one side while ensuring my by-now separate pieces of flesh are left on a tray, manhandled and contorted by a radiologist who is very apologetic about it all. And I had to do a re-take because take # 5 couldn't be used. Joy.

I think the folks at GE need to relook at the design of their sonograph equipment. Honestly folks, why would you expect the patients to contort their bodies and bodily parts to suit the design of your machines? You should design your machines to suit the patients lah. And we are talking about 40 year old ladies here who might not be all nimble and patient. And while most of us have gone through child labour, it doesn't mean we would want to subject ourselves to the same pain in a different part of our body. *glare*

Boob Left and Boob Right are slowly getting over the manhandling but man, this experience has left a lasting impression on them and I. Jeez, I am turning into a grumpy old lady.

I'm almost afraid to say this...

...but I see some of me in this hilarious video.

Mom Song - Celebrity bloopers here

Maid-to-order

I never knew disciplining a kid could make me laugh-out-loud. No, I am not being sadistic and no feelings were hurt, except for Sara's. But I think she will laugh about this when she's older too.

Our story starts with Sara doing her homework in my room. I was working from home and was keeping an eye on the work she was doing while reading and reporting on a report - I know, reporting on a report sounds silly but it's part of what I need to do for work. Anyhow, Sara went from sitting next to me, to sprawling on the floor to climbing into my bed. The result of that trail is a mess that covered most part of my room. So I had to then supervise her to clean the room.

Cleaning up includes removing the eraser bits that were all over the floor with a small broom, to putting my pillows back properly on my bed to throwing out used papers. After two sets of instructions the little girl was getting moody. She started to stomp her feet and glare at me. When I asked her what's wrong, what came out of her mouth was nothing short of amazement. She said, "Why do you treat me like a maid?!" My immediate reaction was a guffaw which was not appreciated because she stomped out of my room cyring and I later heard her complaining to my mother.

After a few minutes, I went to her room and tried to explain to her why she had to clean up. Her defence was since it was my room which was messy, then I have to clean up because it was MY room. This is because she has to clean her own room and she's never asked me to clean HER room. Of course the fact that she messed my room up is immaterial at this stage. So in the end, she did finish cleaning up the mess, albeit grudgingly.

That evening, I was tucking her in and saw a piece of paper in her room and saw her scribblings on it. I picked it up and all was revealed:

"My mother trits me like a maid! She said I must clean up her room. It is HER room and I have to clean it up?! She is so bossy! My bibik is not even trited like a mid but I am. And the worse part? She didn't even say thank you! And that is so rud. And she always remind me to say thank you! I am so angry."

Kid, you have no idea how cute you are.

Well hellooo there

This blog is in need of resuscitation. The diagnosis is severe; persistent neglect. Why have gone MIA? That's a loaded question my friend. And I would answer it in parts. Some parts being too distracted by real life, most parts just plain lazy. Poor excuse I know, but hey.

So, since the last post I had, many many things have happened.

Sara seemed to have turn the corner as far as her math grades go. The school she is currently attending only tests kids at mid year and final year. Lots of Kum/on, tuition and practice hours later, she emerged with a 70% pass for her math midyear exams. My little super trooper was thrilled beyond words and this dramamama was moved to tears. She is even more enthused with practising and studying now more than ever, alhamdulillah. She's been begging to join a ballet class. We relented and I can see she's quite enjoying it (even though the husband is not too keen on seeing his little girl in leotards and a see through skirt).

The other two kiddies also turned in results which marked improvements from the first term results but they both know they could achieve much more.

And speaking of achievement, we enrolled Danial into a camp this June holidays. It's costing us a lot of money but we do hope that this camp can help jump start the boy into being self-motivated and help him realise his full potential. Today is Day 3 of the camp and he seemed to quite enjoy the experience.

Farah did well enough for us to agree to her joining a school trip to Adelaide at the end of the month. She knows she is capable of getting better grades and so we have set out goals for her to achieve for her finals. I must say I am thankful that we are not going through severe bouts of teenage angsts and mood swings.

As for the husband, he is still travelling for work. Aiming to run a marathon towards the end of the year. Took up cycling with a couple of other friends and enjoying his bike rides that start at 6am and cycling for tens of kms each weekend. Insanity to others, thrilling to some.

Yours truly do miss blogging. Thoughts of closing this blog down have crossed my mind especially since I started this blog to talk about my kids when they were younger. Now, they are much older and well, our lives are getting a bit more routine to blog about. So I am thinking of changing the course of this blog. I might stay here or start another blog...not sure yet. But whatever it is, I will be sure to let you know.

Mawlid

The Mawlid season is wrapping up and my mum, to coincide with inviting her masjid friends over to her new residence, invited her friends over to commemorate Mawlid with berzanji and nasheed. So we had about 20 ladies over on a wet Saturday afternoon; much to my mum's delight (and relief), almost all of her friends came over, braving the heavy rain.

Since it was an all-ladies event, my dad and the husband parked themselves nicely at the first floor. We also invited some relatives over and the two men of the house made the most of the situation by putting hosting skills to good use by mostly saying hello and pointing to where the food and drinks are...just kidding.

The berzanji session was beautiful. I was amazed that these ladies have such beautiful voices that they are putting to good use to praise the Almighty Allah. At the end of the 45minute session, I was moved with all the selawat and berzanji that my eyes weren't dry at the end of the entire session. I looked around and saw a number of other ladies dabbing their eyes as well.

It was certainly a nice sight to see my mum with her friends - some of whom I knew since I was a little girl. Some friends you want to keep and some friendships just last a lifetime.

Bring it up a notch, please

OK, so if you don't like or don't watch American Idol, you may safely skip this post.

My gripe about this new season is - why is it that everyone on the show sing slow songs and playing the guitar? OK not, everyone but almost. Like, where is the spunk? Where is the entertainment? They might as well call this season American Snoozer.

There's one girl who plays the digital piano but she was so unoriginal she was mauled by the judges. And this is in addition to MY arm-chair critique of her. Fail. She will so be going home.

And what is going on with Kara and Simon? Can we please cut out the sideshow and just focus on the kids?

Dudes, please step on it and make this season an interesting watch.

PS: As you can tell, I take this show very seriously. Don't laugh.

Of origin and extracts

Happy 2010! I know I'm late but hey, better than never :)

I've gone all quiet for a while because real life took over... the helper went on home leave, my parents moved in, the kids needed to be reminded that school's starting and getting them back into gear was quite a feat. All the habits they acquired during the school break - waking up later, doing minimal studying and playing all day - needed to be dumped, and unfortunately not without tears and resistance.

With mum and dad living with us now, meal times are taking a whole new dimension. The kids are eating better because they can't say no to mum's cooking. And neither could I nor the husband. And we really can do without the extra calories but we succumb anyway and in between mouthfuls, we talk about our very brittle self control. And the cycle continues, the more we eat, the more mum cooks. Not sure if we would describe the cycle as vicious, maybe deliciously vicious?

Sara goes to a new school. She loves loves loves her pinafore because Farah also wears a pinafore to school so that puts Sara into the big girls' league. She loves loves loves taking the school bus. And she is loving her new classmates and teachers whom she's described as pretty. Alhamdulillah as I let out a huge *phew*!

As I was going through the paperwork to get her transfered to a new school, I have had to fill out quite a few forms and I learnt, at least in the school system, there is now something called "Indon extract" in the "Race" column. Since Singapore is still hung up over classifying people based on race, I had a good chuckle because I was no longer identified as "Javanese" in the system, but rather as an "Indon extract". Is this called clarity in ambiguity? No, I didn't think so too.

I wait for the day when my children would come across this "race" and will ask if Indon extract is the same as beef extract.

Easy does it

The revisions with Sara are going well, alhamdulillah. We are now going into chapter two of Pri 2 maths topic. She's gaining some confidence and I am thrilled to bits.

JDsg, you would be pleased to know that I took your advice to heart and she has been taught one way of solving a particular maths problem and that seemed to clear LOTS of confusion. Jazakallah for the tip!

Sara also received compliments from her ustazah during her Iqra' lessons. She wasn't reading well and was dragging her feet during Iqra so when she did read well, the ustazah took advantage of it and praised her in front of the other kids and that pleased Sara very much. Pleased me, too :)

So it seems we have achieved some success with her. She is looking forward to going to her new school, in her new uniform and riding that school bus. What is the attraction with school bus, I might never understand since I walked to school until I was 12 and then took the public bus when I was 13 onwards.

The kids and I also got to bake some cookies and cupcakes when I took a couple of days' off from work. I must say, I could do with more SAHM days...besides spending time with the kids, those afternoon naps are delightful and decadent!

Life as usual

I work from home on Mondays and Fridays and it is an official arrangement I have made with my boss. I shared with her that I need to send Sara to her Kumon class on those days and mapped out how I was going to make up for the hour on those days. I more than made up for those hours and my boss was nonchalant about it primarily because she works from home most days of the week, too and also because she is in a totally different time zone from me. I didn't set out this post to be my working hour arrangement so let me get back to my point.

I was at Starbucks as I logged on to the office network and worked on a couple of things. And as always, just when the words flowed in my head and I am hammering away on my keyboard intensely, nature calls. And this call cannot be put on hold.

On my way to the public loo, I past by the one and only Papa Rock, Ramli Sarip who was just leaving a nearby bank and was making his way to the town council office a few doors down. I was walking briskly behind him and as I passed him, I gave him salam and told him I was at his last concert at the Esplanade and the husband and I had a blast.

He answered my salam, looked at me and said the concert was great for him too and thanked me for supporting his gig. I grinned and wanted to chat some more but you will recall, nature called and it has turned to an SOS.

I left the loo (finally) and peeked into the town council office and saw the rocker behind the counter, pointing to a piece of paper and talking to the customer service lady. And it finally hit me, even a rock sensation (at least in this little region) runs his own errands...

Sort of sobering as I was starting to sweat about the helper going back on home leave for three weeks from this Sunday. I explored part time help that it was going to cost too much money. But if Papa Rock can do it, then maybe we (the husband, kids, I and my parents) can take care of this house, too. At least for the next three weeks :)

It's Dec? Already?

I can't believe we are already at the last month of the year!

The kids are enjoying themselves during the holidays, surrounded by cousins and other adults in the family. Some stayed over, some came over. Our neighbour's kids are also now part of the motley crue.

Sara is soldiering on with her revisions and I intend to expose her to some of the Pr 2 topics this month. No rush, we are taking it slow and steady. She's only had one tantrum about studying - when everyone else had completed their one-hour of reading time and were going to go outside to skateboard while she hadn't finished her work. It was tough and involved tears. But insha Allah, that would be the last tantrum. And she will (finally) turn seven in about two weeks' time. Only to join a group of 8 year olds next year at school. Sigh.

Speaking of which, I have moved her to a school nearer to our house. She's going to be taking the school bus and if she had additional school activities, it would be easy enough for the helper to send her to or fetch her from school as the school is only a 5-minute walk from the train station. I'm hoping the new school and environment would be better for her. Please keep her in your prayers.

Sara and I baked a strawberry cake. For real, people. With lots of help from my best bud in the kitchen. Her name is Betty Crocker. The cake turned out beautifully and my confidence in baking is slowly being restored and I am forever indebted to Betty. I am planning to bake some cookies before the month ends. If I don't blog about my cooking adventure, you would know what means because if it was a resounding success, there would be pictorial evidence on this blog.

We've got lots of activities planned out for the kids and the only thing that's standing between us and those plans is TIME. Or more specifically, the husband's and mine. We don't have much leave left to take so we are being very strategic using our leave days.

My parents will insha Allah be moving in this weekend. My mum has packed her beloved chinaware and these are safely kept in my kitchen but apart from that, my parents haven't packed a single thing. But I think once I get them here, we can slowly move their stuff over and by January, they would be ready to rent their place out.

So as you can see, there are lots to do and too little time to do them. And when things are less hectic, the sounds of cricket on this blog would be less frequent.

Food for thought

Fingularity posted this video up on her site and I love love love it so much that I'm reproducing it here. This video brought tears to these eyes. Enjoy.

Disconnected

Sometimes I feel so disconnected with the people around me. I don't feel the joy and I don't see the beauty. I know God's beautiful creations are everywhere and if I even put in an iota of effort, I will see it. But alas, I don't feel like it.

I turned 39 not too long ago and as always I wanted a quiet dinner with the kids and husband. There were a few unexpected guests who came over, with very good intentions of celebrating with us but I wasn't feeling too sociable. While they sat and had cake and chit chat, I was spacing out for most part of the time.

I feel like I am losing my mojo. Not sure what I need to do to reconnect but you know, I am also afraid that I am liking being distant a little too much. I feel like I need my space but I'm not sure what I'd do with all that space? Is this mid life crisis? Too many questions with no answers. Maybe it's time for more self-reflection...

Knee-deep...

...with work. And many visitors at home. No. Time. To. Rest. Helper. Lost. Passport. Horror story about my encounter at the embassy to come soon...

Outrageous!

For those living in Singapore, did you know that your phone number and address could be listed on yellowpages.com.sg?

If you didn't know, welcome to the club. A friend told me about the website and I was flabbergasted when I found out that my new address and phone numbers were listed there without me providing any authorisation.

I called my service provider up and demanded that they got my numbers removed. Here's the cherry on the cake - I could get my number and address removed as long as I pay $2.14 per month to get my details unlisted.

So, let me get this straight. My service provider gave out my details to yellow pages without informing me, let alone getting authorisation from me, and if I wanted to be removed from yellow pages, I need to pay the service provider monthly payments so that my details which I didn't authorise for them to divulge to third parties, could be removed. Someone please explain the logic to me? Because I think, if anyone gets to profit from this, it should be me. They should be paying me $2.14 per month to have my details on their website.

For now, I told them to unlist my number and I have told them I want to know who's getting the $2.14 per month and why should consumers be paying for something like this. The poor customer service person who got my tirade was obviously tired of my rant by then, and promised he would get his supervisor to call me back. It's been 24 hours and no call. But fret not, I will be calling them soon.

I am annoyed. And if you find your details on yellowpages.com.sg as well, you should be too.

Knackered

We moved in just in time for Eid, alhamdulillah.

And while we have unpacked some boxes, many more remained untouched. Most were hidden in the store room and others are in the bedrooms. The main idea was to keep them out of sight of guests who came fast and furious. I was telling the husband I don't recall having to host this many number of guests in recent years so I think the attraction was for people to come by to see our new home and Eid was a nice segue to that. I think.

We didn't have a big Eid cook out because like, who's got the energy and time when all we did was unpack, vacuum, mop, wipe, repeat. Family members took pity on us and cooked for us. And in the end, we had more food than we would have if we cooked. One of life's ironies.

So in between unpacking (still!) and visiting the must-visit-relatives and hosting many guests, it is safe to assume that I am glad I am back at work. The respite won't be for too long though as we are expecting more people this weekend and the kids are bringing some friends over.

I'm too tired to even think about what we need to do to prepare for these guests this weekend. Would serving them pizza be considered bad manners...? I could ask for rendang topping to make it a bit more Eid-ish...hmmm there's a thought...

Tagged!

I've been tagged by a lovely young lady whom I had the pleasure of getting acquainted to in the wonderful world of the web. I'm not sure if my total of four readers would be interested in the list about me but here goes:

Ten Honest Things About Me

1. The husband is my source of strength and weakness. I love the man to bits. He has the unique the ablility to draw out the best in me. And oddly, the worse in me, too.

2. I love my kids. And hard as it may, I try to temper my boundless love for them with discipline that I think will help them in their life. I want them to be able to pursue what they love doing. Except, Danial would never be able to be a fighter pilot nor an admiral in the navy in this little island that we live in. And that makes me angry.

3. I had kid-phobia and so the husband and I never discussed having kids the entire time we were dating/engaged. When we found out we were pregnant for the first time, the husband thought I might not want to keep the baby.

4. I am fiercely loyal to friends. I've been told this is a typical Scorpio trait. Not sure what that means since I am not into zodiac or horoscope (are they even the same thing?).

5. I have had four major surgeries in my life. Yes, I have had a complicated medical history and hopefully that means I have reached the quota of major surgeries of my life and I won't have to go through another one.

6. I have only discovered God not too long ago. The jolt/reminder/final call came when I lost my child. Veering close to depression, it occured to me I had to let go and trust the plan God had for me. As a Muslim, I am indeed a work-in-progress.

7. I am actually very funny. My quiet demeanour belies my humour and acquaintances usually are very surprised when I crack a joke. But no, I am no stand-up comedienne material. Not by a long shot.

8. I like my food spicy. All hail the queen of spice and chillies. I don't get why anyone would want to eat bland food.

9. I love my job and plan my career. It pays the bills and allows me to help support the family. And for that, I give thanks to God daily.

10. I am very uncompetitive by nature. I know, its an oxymoron to be have a career and not be competitive. How do you climb the corporate ladder otherwise, you're asking? I don't have an answer. I only keep my head down and do the work that been entrusted to me and do them to the best of my abilities and get the results that are needed. Sometimes I get a pat on my back for the results, sometimes, other people do. Such is the corporate world. But my being uncompetitive extends beyond work. It is also reflected in my hobby - reading (has anyone heard of reading competitions?).

And that's pretty much it. If you made it all the way here, you are a very patient (and inquisitive!) person. And if you forward this post in the next 5 mins to 10 people, you will mysteriously receive $1000 in your bank account.

To be thankful for

I've got lots to be thankful for, besides having the gift of life, good health and being surrounded by good people...

1. I have a husband who gives his heart and soul to me
2. Danial is on Kumon's honour roll for both English and Maths - we didn't even know he was in the running.
3. Sara has shown so much improvement and so much more interest in schoolwork
4. Farah is showing signs of maturity and taking more ownership than before
5. Relationships with family members which were cold and distant are now starting to warm up
6. My workload would be less hectic when the new hire comes on board in a few weeks' time
7. I'm reconnected with old school friends and rediscovering them as new friends
8. Another bunch of old friends are coming to my house for tea next week
9. I haven't lost my interest in exercising - yoga and kick boxing are my drugs
10. The keys to our new home will be with us shortly, insha Allah.

I know this post is saccharine-sweet but I really can't help it. I think I am blessed and I bet you are, too.

In my mind,

I have blogged about:

1. The time when I had to raise my voice at a clinic assistant. She chided me for bringing my breathless son to the clinic 10mins after it's closing time. Nevermind the clinic does not state it's operating hours and the sign still says "Open". I told her Danial was wheezing and needed to see the doctor quickly. Only to be told that I should've brought him in earlier. I raised my voice and asked her how was I supposed to know Danial's lungs would start wheezing and if she could tell me, I'd be sure to make an appointment ahead of time.

We finally got to see the doctor whom, after 3 seconds of putting the stethoscope on Danial's chest said the boy's not wheezing. He promptly asked me if I was new to the neighbourhood. I said we weren't new to the neighbourhood but were new to the clinic because of the change in my company's insurer. He then took the liberty to advise me of the clinic's opening hours and that he might not be in the clinic even if he had house calls to make. If looks could kill, he would've been dead by then.

2. My strategy + my plan + my hard work = someone else's credit. No recognition of a job well done. Instead someone else basked in its glory, shamelessly accepting all the kudos, taking in all the credit. I've seen this happen many times; in fact this is not the first time it's happened to me in my 20 years of working life. But man, what happened recently just took this corporate game to the next (lowest) level.

3. The day when I had a panic attack because I thought I had lost my 15-year old engagement ring. I finally found it in my yoga bag. I was careless and mad at myself for a while.

4. During a recent work trip, I was too tired from all day meetings and not enough sleep that I actually fell forward while on an escalator going up. A colleague, after making sure I was alright, decided to let out a chuckle and said the lemonade I had at dinner was way too potent. My both shins were bruised, but not as much as my ego. But thank goodness I didn't fall far enough to end up smelling the ass of the person who was standing in front of me. And thank goodness I didn't fall backwards. *That* would have been disastrous.

5. Watching "Duplicity" in the plane was a waste of time. But then, in the plane, you have time to waste. I've always thought Julia Roberts, while hot, looks horse-y. Clive Owen is the new heart throb. But the movie sucks. Big time. I can't believe a bunch of ex agents could be so gullible. Can someone please bring back Jason Bourne?

And that is all.

I'm taking deep breaths

Because I am sick of the cookie-cutter way of doing things. Where there is no space for differentiation. The world is not all black or white. Give me a break already. (end of rant)

Wow...

I can't believe:

1. MJ is dead but the circus around him continues unabated
2. Danial thought MJ was dead a long time ago because he's never heard any new songs from MJ at all
3. Danial is trying to master the moonwalk
4. My business travel is starting up after almost one year of travel ban and here I am getting very used to being grounded
5. School term just started and the kids are already bringing back loads of homework everyday
6. The month of Rejab is here, and soon Ramadhan will be here and I have yet to start fasting the days I lost last year
7. We are already in July
8. I think I need another holiday
9. The Ministry of Health has given up telling people to stay away from countries where H1N1 is spreading fast - not least because we ourselves are on that list. Tragic comedy, don't you think?
10. No one is watching the Asian Youth Games - at least in my household