My youngest sister was hospitalised for a couple of days last week. She had to be admitted to the hospital because she had difficulty in breathing. I was in between jobs that week and was at my mum's when she called and asked if I could send her to the hospital.
The doctor was puzzled as to the cause of her breathlessness. After many tests, the doctor said it was caused by anxiety. And I think I know what's causing it.
My sister has been married for about six years now. They have no kids. And they - particularly my sister - is facing the brunt of endless questions and general nosey-ness of relatives who keep asking why haven't they had kids yet. My family does not have that many relatives, but her husband does. Lots of them. And if every meeting with a random aunt or uncle start with "Why are you still childless?", I think anyone would eventually crumble.
Without fail, the question would be directed to the woman. The Malay culture is such that if a couple can't or have not conceived, the problem is with the woman. Because God forbid, a man could never, ever have low sperm count or have other related issues. And so, these nosey relatives would suggest all kinds of treatment, from traditional to western to whatever else that sits in the middle.
I really wish I could be there when she gets asked this type of questions. I want to remind them that it is really none of their bloody business and so kindly butt out.
I can only tell my sister to be strong and to ignore those people who seemed bent on poking their nose into other people's business. But since she is literally falling sick because of the stress I'm going to go all out and tell people off because their behaviour is not acceptable. So watch out!
9 comments:
cheebeh, you got block meh?
i mean, "blog". siah lah, been writing about our new home until cannot even refer to the right "blog", not "block".
I do understand and sympathize. Milady is about halfway through her first pregnancy now, but it's taken us a very long time to get to this point (our fifth wedding anniversary was earlier this month). Have your sister keep her chin up, remember that everything is due to the will of Allah (swt), and if she needs the name of a good gyne, I can give her one.
Ronin: I've had one for the longest time! I never told you?? Heeee!
JD: First off, congrats to you and Milady!!
My sister and her husband have tried many treatments and have gone to see gynaes and doctors. I think they have accepted if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. It's the other people who can't seem to deal with it and the constant questions and the snide remarks she has to deal with are really hurting her.
people suck.
we also kena.
on top of that, people like to ask what i do for a living all. i think it's very annoying.
when they do that i know they're keeping score. f%^$ng irritating.
next time i'll just say i sell things on ebay. kasi they all terperanjat siket.
That may very well be true (if it's meant to be, it's meant to be), but I had heard too many stories of people who persist in going through IVF time and time again until, finally, an embryo latches on and a baby is born. I can't tell you how many times, we went through the embryo insertion, but it was probably a minimum of 10 times. I think we've succeeded this time (so far) because a higher-than-average hormone treatment for the first two months or so and she got about eight weeks of rest at home. (When we left the home, I'd wheel her around in a wheelchair to minimize all the bouncing around from walking too much.) Oh, and one other thing. :) I had read that if one prayed for something when one broke one's fast during Ramadan, that prayer would be answered in time, insha'allah. I was praying very hard for a baby pretty much every evening last year. :) So, perseverance and prayer! That has worked for us so far. 132 days left on the baby ticker, insha'allah.
Absolutely perseverance and prayer! In my sister's case, she can't afford too many IVFs and so she and her husband tried all other treatments within their means. She hasn't given up, but she's more accepting of the fact that sometimes Allah reward you with other things in life...
Ronin, how come you get asked about babies?? You JUST got married!!
dude... BEATS ME!
LMAO!
anyway, hey i wanna share an experience within my family.
one of my elder stepbrothers and his wife couldn't conceive too.
one day, they had an opportunity to adopt (express story), so they did.
soon after, the wife got pregnant. now they have TWO kids - one adopted, one their own.
my brother was 5 million yrs old lor, by then.
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