The birds and the whaaat??

I cannot believe this is the time. This week alone (and this week is not even DONE yet) I have had two kids come to me to ask me about the birds and the, yes.

First off, a cranky Farah rolled herself to my room one night. Eyes squinting. Body slouched. As she approached me, she slouched even more, and dramatically threw herself on my bed. She closed her eyes as she muttered the words that shocked me.

"Mummy, please do not sign me up for any more sex education class. I want to opt out the next one. PLEEAASE!," she pleaded. Of course such theatrics should be matched with more theatrics and so turned my head and said, "Huh, what? You had sex ed? Today? In school I hope!"

"YES, I did and that's because you said I should attend. It was disgusting. They showed us all how to put a c/ond/om over a banana! Like, YUCK! It's GROSS!" And as she was rolling in MY bed, ruffling up my clean and tightly pulled bedsheet, she pleaded with more gusto about getting out of the next one. Which will be held, get this. Next year. I'm all for future planning so I gave her a break and told her OK, I will opt her out.

The second chapter to this story starts with me and Danial at the supermarket. We were getting ready for a barbeque that night and I was buying stuff to you know, barbeque.

As we were waiting in line to pay for our groceries, I saw Danial eyeing the candy just before we got to the cash register. I was ready to tell him no to chocolates or sweets.

Him: Why are c/o/nd/oms so expensive?

Me: No sweets or chocolates before dinner. We are having a barbeque tonight and your uncle is making creme bru...huh? What did you say??

Him: Co/nd/oms. Why are they expensive?

There's me, looking at the sweets and chocolates that are lined up nicely and just above them, there they were. Multiple types with a variety of colours and flavours.

Me: Er, I don't know why they cost that much. But, wait what do you know about them? Who taught you?

Him: I first thought they were sweets and I asked *elder cousin boy A* if those tastes good. And he laughed at me saying those are not sweets. He told me what these are called.

Me: What else did he tell you? At this point, I started to notice a young mother who was behind me listening to our conversation and the elderly man in front of us, grinning. Why? I don't know...

Him: Nothing. He told me what it's for. It just sounds gross.

Because I am a glutton for punishment, I had to ask

Me: What is it for?

Him: For men to wear over his ...

Me: Okay fine, you know what it's for. Just so you know, you are too young to think about...

Him: Mummy, I just told you it's gross. I don't know why adults do what they do to make babies.

At that point, I think the boy has heard enough (I know I had) and decided to let the matter rest by asking him to help me carry some of the groceries.

Next time anyone asks me, I'll tell them to speak to their father! That or distract them with some candy.