I had a shock of my life to receive a note from Danial's teacher, asking me to give her a call after school hours. According to the note, "to discuss his poor performance in class and him not handing in his homework". The same note also requested that I checked around the house for two missing Math worksheets.
So first, the confrontation. I asked him for an explanation. He said he was caught talking in class when the teacher was conducting a lesson. He had brought to class his Pokemon comic book - a birthday gift from his tutor - and was asking his classmate who was leafing through it, to keep the book away. And he got caught by the teacher who thought he was being too talkative in class. The teacher confiscated the book.
And he admitted he forgot to bring those worksheets to school; he had done them - I know because I went through them with him - but he didn't put them in his school bag.
So I called the teacher, who sounded really annoyed. I listened to her and whilst I really had wanted to tell her to take a chill pill, I had to be diplomatic and tell her what he told me with regards to the comic book. She didn't apologise for making a wrong judgement, but instead said that I shouldn't allow him to bring any comic book to school. So now, it is *my* fault. I was seething but kept calm.
And then today, I got another call to say he would have to be home late because he forgot to bring his English story composition homework which I checked last night and he had to now do that homework from scratch at school.
I am livid. I am livid at the teacher for giving me attitude. And I am livid at the tardiness of my son, the same good-natured boy who used to love going to school and was interested in his schoolwork. I don't know what it is that is bugging him. It certainly is giving me stomach ulcer to have to deal with this behaviour. Is this a manifestation of some defiance for something else? I don't know why he's losing interest and I am very, very worried. He's still getting top marks but for sure, his interest is dying.
To deal with this, I thought of all kinds of punishments - no Gameboy, no TV, no comic book. But what would that achieve? I'll be behaving the same as his teacher - punishing him for the deed, but not really addressing the real issue.
I think a good heart-to-heart is the first step to finding out. Wish me luck.
3 comments:
Good luck!
Perhaps he is just reacting to the particular teacher, the classroom ambiance, or the teaching methods.
I know from my own experience that some teachers make you really not want to work, others really make you like the material even though its not your top subject. My parents have also told me, however, that my teachers warned them to keep me away from certain other students who distracted me in class and around whom I was more likely to goof off.
Of course, my experience draws from the middle school/high school/university level, cuz thats what I remember more. In a 7-10 year old, it might be different.
Ditto what V.I. said.
I also have to sympathize with the teacher; Milady, if you didn't know, is a primary school teacher as well, and I've heard many, many similar stories of misbehavior, kids bringing in materials that they shouldn't have (and were subsequently confiscated), and so on. I'm not saying it's *your* fault, but I can understand why the teacher might have been giving you "attitude," deservedly or not. And teachers all too often get "attitude" from the parents as well, so the problem goes both ways. (And, as a teacher's spouse, I get "the vent." ;) )
Thanks, VI. I think you raised many good points. It could be any or a combination of those points. I remember Danial was always singing praises about his teacher last year, but this year he hasn't been really excited about going to school.
Not pinning the problem on the teacher though, more likely the class? Last year he was in a "regular" class but this year, he's in a "mega" class with double the number students from a regular class.
Thanks also for your comment, JD. I have lots of sympathy and respect for teachers - especially primary school teachers! I don't think I can maintain my sanity having to be around that many kids that many hours of the day :P
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