An aching heart

Last night, Farah told me she dreamt of her mum. As she told me this, she started tearing and was trying hard to control herself. I told her it's OK to cry, that it's natural to feel sad and she started sobbing like I've never seen her before. Her mum passed away on Jan 29, seven years ago.

Her mother was my sister-in-law. My husband had three elder sisters and Farah's mum was the second eldest. The husband is the youngest amongst them. Their parents divorced when the husband was barely three years old but as siblings, they were tightly knit. He used to tell me of the games they played together, all based on ingenuity since they had little money for any toy. So when his sister passed away, he felt the moral responsibility to ensure Farah is looked after. Farah was five when she lost her mum. She came to live with us when she was seven, she is turning 12 soon.

So last night, she had a good cry. She misses her mum and her heart aches for her. She dreamt her mum was sitting with her as she was studying and they were going to have dinner together, but her mum left the room and never came back. She woke up in tears and felt the desperate need to be with her.

I talked to her about her mum's strength and love for her. How she fought lupus, and then fought and succumbed to cancer at age 33. She had enormous strength and courage, but most of all she had enormous love for her only child. I told her she is lucky because she is inheriting all that courage and love from her mum. I told her the best thing she could do is to remember her mum in her daily prayers.

The pain of missing someone, unfortunately, doesn't get easier with the passage of time. She and I know that first hand. And perhaps, you do, too.